


Harry Potter and the Gender Universe

by mesocrazy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, F/F, F/M, M/M, Potions Lesson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 10:14:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4602906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mesocrazy/pseuds/mesocrazy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“So, Snape wants us to make a potion, which will make a door into another universe, where things are exactly the same except everyone is the wrong gender?” Hermione made a small noise,<br/>    “Well...” Harry winced.<br/>Wrong then.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Harry Potter and the Gender Universe

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is my first ever fic, so please be nice. This was read through by a friend of mine, but if you see any mistakes then feel free to tell me. I'll also accept constructive criticism.

“That actually sounds kinda awesome!” Harry stared at his enthusiastic friend and then glanced at Hermione, who was smiling proudly. Since she and Ron had started going out they had been spending more time alone together. Harry had always assumed that that time was allocated to make-outs only, but maybe Hermione was using the time to brainwash Ron into thinking he enjoyed potions. With those two, anything was a possibility.  
“So, one sec, let me think about this,” Hermione and Ron waited as Harry thought, which was another thing that had changed about Ron too. It now seemed he had the patience of a saint, whereas before he would have been bugging to know what Harry was thinking before he had finished thinking it. Harry knew for a fact that Hermione wasn't putting out, so maybe Ron practised his patience technique waiting for her to give him the green light where private parts were concerned. “So, Snape wants us to make a potion, which will make a door into another universe, where things are exactly the same except everyone is the wrong gender?” Hermione made a small noise,  
“Well...” Harry winced.  
Wrong then.  
“You got it mostly right. Except it's not a door. You can't go through it. It's more like a one-way window. We can see into their universe, but they can't see us. Also, gender won't be the only things that are different. Girls and boys do different things in the same situations. So people would have done things different in that universes past, to its present will be different too. Um, does that make sense?”  
“Yeah.”  
No  
It was all very confusing, but not as confusing as the potion making itself. Harry and Ron were doing little more than handing things over and moving out of the way according to Hermione's command. She smiled,  
“Oh good. I wasn't to sure it did. Could you hand me the flux-weed Ron? Thanks. The theory's not all that complex if you understand it. I think it's going to be fascinating. Don't you?”  
“Oh yes,” said Ron, nodding, “very.” Hermione shot him a blinding smile. It seemed that the way into her undies was through lessons, Harry mused. Maybe they would end up as one of those really kinky couples who dressed up. A professor and a pupil, maybe. That could be hot. A cute blond would work, he supposed. He could imagine it, being bent over a desk, that would be good. He shook his head, wondering how he had gotten from potions to sex in the matter of about thirty seconds. He frowned and began to track back through his thoughts, before it occurred to him that this may not be the best place to think too hard about sex over a desk. Or, at least, the pressure in his trousers reminded him.  
He fanned his face.  
When had it gotten hot in the dungeons?  
“You should be close to finishing the potion by now. If you have done it all correctly, which, for many of you, I have to doubt, then it will be a dark brown shade and will be giving off poisonous fumes about now,” many people gasped and backed away quickly from their cauldrons at Snape's soft words. He smiled nastily, “Do try not to breath it in.” and that, in the language of Snape, loosely translated into 'those of my own house: do not die from poison poisoning, all Gryffindors: feel free to stick your heads as far into the cauldron as you can, I will momentarily look the other way.'  
Snape was a bastard.

After a couple of the fainter hearted people *cough*Neville*cough* had been convinced to go back to their potions, the lesson had continued. Only a couple of groups had a potion worth using. Much to the relief of Harry and Ron, Hermione had made theirs one of the few. Snape had picked every hole he could find in it, but still had to give it a good mark.  
Malfoy got the best in the class, as per usual. Harry was annoyed as he listened to Hermione telling him in a soft, yet superior tone, that Malfoy got the most praise because his was the best. But Harry saw her looking at the cauldron of Pansy and Millicent, whom Snape had complimented highly, with a suspicious expression.  
The whole class was now gathered round a cauldron, filled with some of the potion Snape had made before-hand.  
“Professor Mcgonagall thinks it would be a good idea to show you how this potion would work when it has been properly made. Each of you will get around two minutes to see through the eyes of your universal partner before I change it to the next person. Any amorous activities and I will change it along at once. Am I clear?” Everyone nodded, too excited by the idea of seeing their friends with different genders to wonder if they were being short-changed when only being given two minutes each. The students moved into a big circle. Snape began on his left and went from pupil to pupil round the circle.  
Pansy went first. Even as a boy she was obsessed with herself, he spent the whole two minutes staring at himself in a mirror. It wasn't fun for anyone else, but she gushed at how handsome and strong she clearly was. Total gender stereotyping, Harry thought.  
He looked at the potion surface as it rippled into life again, this time showing a mound of food, and a grinning fem!Crabbe. It was scary.  
Harry wondered if he was out rightly gay in the other universe too. It had taken him a while to figure out why Ginny didn't seem as interesting to him anymore, but one day, both Ginny and Hermione had cornered him, told him that he was very clearly gay as a rainbow and that he'd better open his eyes and figure it out, because it was going to be really awkward after a while. Since then it had been basically the same for him. Ron had slapped him on the back and said that all his brothers were older than him, so it wasn't his job to look out for them, and Harry could date any one of them if he wanted to.  
Harry hadn't.  
Life had gone on.

Snape, Harry noticed, had a mean streak. When it was a Slytherin's turn, he almost always found something else to look at for a while, so they got far more than two minutes. And he seemed to cut off the Gryffindor's just when they were getting interesting. Natalie (Neville) had just asked out a dreamy faced Leon (Luna), who had opened his mouth to reply, when the potion surface turned blank again. Neville had deflated like a popped balloon. Hermione, who was going next, patted him on the back.  
The first thing that they saw through Hermione's eyes... were the pages of a book. Almost a full minute passed as page after page was turned at inspiring speeds before there was the sound of a throat clearing and he looked up. Harry had to clamp a hand over his mouth to stop from laughing out loud. Ron looked like a chunkier version of Ginny. And when she opened her mouth to speak, not looking up from the book she was studying, she sounded like her too,  
“You know Henry, when I said that I wanted to go to the library for sometime together, this wasn't quite what I meant.” the whole room was choking on giggles, Ron's face was so red Harry wondered if his blood pressure would make his head explode. It might be kinder, Snape seemed to be taking great joy from the embarrassment and made no move to stop the visual like he had done for all the other Griffindors by now.  
“Well what did you mean then? What else are we going to do in the library?” Hermione, um, Henry had a deep voice, and a tone of innocent confusion. Even the Hermione in this world would have caught on. There was a couple of extra minutes of stilted conversation, with many innuendos from Rosie trying to get Henry to catch onto what she was saying, but it didn't work. Eventually Snape waved his wand and a few people broke down into puddles of laughing goo.  
Harry and the other Griffindor boys made up most of them.  
“Well now.” Snape smirked and gave Ron and Hermione a long look. “I see no reason to inflict a view from your eyes on the class, Mr Weasley. I think we all know what we will see, and this has been painful enough as it is.” Ron and Hermione moved away from each other, sandwiching themselves either side of Harry, who squirmed uncomfortably.  
Dean and Seamus had been dating for a while, but no one really thought they had gone further than heavy petting. As it turned out they were very wrong, or at least, as girls they didn't seem at all squeamish about each other.  
It took everyone a while to figure out what was going on. The noises helped a little, there were very few things that people could be doing whilst gasping and moaning like that, but the image stayed confusing for a while. It turned out that Sasha was quite a flexible girl and managed to get her body to bend in a way that make the whole picture rather disturbing. Snape shut it off as soon as he worked out what was going on, and even he had a pink flush along his cheeks.  
Harry wondered if he could get Snape kicked out of school for perving on school girls, but he doubted it, when those girls weren't even in the right universe.

Soon it was Harry's go and he leaned forward, curious in spite of himself. The image came up and he saw the earth far below his female self. She was flying. She was a good flyer. After a moment of zooming round as fast as she could go she let go of her broom entirely and threw her arms into the air, the sound of her whooping bouncing off the walls. She stared at the sky for a second, hovering. Then pushed herself into the steepest dive Harry had ever seen. She was vertical, Harry had always had a slight slant to his dives before.  
'Girls are awesome' he thought, wondering how hard he would have to work before he could do that. She pulled up so late that Harry thought she was going to hit the ground. But she didn't, and everyone in the room either relaxed in relief or slumped in disappointment. She swung herself off the broom and started walking towards the changing rooms, a hand moving behind her head and black hair falling suddenly round the edges of her sight. It seemed she took no more care of her hair as a girl than a boy.  
“Cutting it a bit fine there, weren't you Potter?” Harry's female counterpart turned her head at the voice and female Malfoy make her first appearance. She still looked that same more or less, but her jaw, though still sharp, was a little rounder and her hair was longer. Harry had never noticed quite how nice his hair was, but seeing it pulled into a rather extravagant hair-do made it clear that Malfoy took a lot of care with it. She had the feminine curves that the male Malfoy lacked (for obvious reasons). Fem!Harry turned her full body towards Malfoy and said in an amused voice,  
“That's what I'm known for isn't it Malfoy? Cutting things close?” Malfoy blushed. That was clearly a reference to something, but Harry could tell that if it wasn't mentioned then he would never know. He tilted his head curiously as Malfoy stalked towards fem!Harry. How did they fight as girls? Did they do it differently? Did they think about the hexes and jinxes before launching them at each other? Probably not, he concluded.  
“You. With me. Now!”  
“Pushy aren't we, Malfoy.” fem!Malfoy snarled and tugged on fem!Harry's wrist, which she had grabbed in passing. The whole class watched as they went into the changing rooms. Fewer chances of being caught presumably. The potion went blank and Harry wasn't the only one who wined and look up at Snape in irritation. He smirked and said,  
“My my Potter. And I thought girls were meant to be less violent, but I suppose the rules never do apply with you, do they?” That wasn't fair!  
“Malfoy is the one picking a fight. I - I mean she was just flying, Malfoy's the one dragging her places.” He felt oddly protective of himself. How dare Malfoy man-handle (woman-handle) him like that! He turned to glare at Malfoy, only to find that Malfoy was moving closer to the cauldron.  
“Professor,” he said, “could you continue the vision through my eyes?” Harry had never heard him so polite without an arrogant smirk on his face before. Snape waved his wand and the vision began again.

Harry blinked in confusion. What was he seeing? There were gasps and he could see legs moving in the potion surface, but they didn't seem to be gasps of pain, rather ones of breathlessness. Had they finished fighting already?  
“Oh god! Malfoy! Ahhh.” Harry's eyebrows got lost in his fringe. That definitely didn't sound like gasps of pain. “Merlin. Harder, please harder.” Malfoy made a spluttering sound from across the cauldron, but Harry couldn't tear his eyes from the scene in front of him. He could now tell what he was seeing.  
A pale arm was under the red quidditch robes. Harry could see flesh underneath the clothing. Long fingers made their way up, pushing the robes with them over fem!Harry's stomach and up till they reached the edge of a bra.  
“Call me Dawn. Oh fuck Hill!” there were more and more gasps. Snape was too busy thumping his head on the wall, with his hands clamped over his ears to stop the potion, and no on else seemed in a great hurry to do it themselves. Both Harry and Malfoy turned bright red at the sounds of their females version climaxing and then crumpling onto one of the benches. Harry knew at that point that he would never sit on any bench in the world (or any other world) without getting a hard-on. That would make life a little harder.  
No cliché walks in the park, or picnics on benches with a faceless man and their dog and children playing with Frisbees.  
He would have to rethink his whole life. He would spend the rest of his existence in fear of benches and all the canoodling horrors they stand for.  
“Hey, Hill?”  
“Umhm?”  
“...Love you.”  
“I love you too D.”  
Fem!Harry's face was suddenly all that could be seen in the cauldron. She was smiling. She had a very pretty smile, Harry thought.

This pretty much finished the lesson, everyone seemed to agree that there was no way anyone could top the shocks already seen in the pot of misleading sex fantasies. As Snape swooped out of the room Harry heard him muttering about on-mass memory modification. Neither Ron nor Hermione had anything to say, for which Harry was grateful. The other occupants of the potions class however, were not so kind. There was much muttering and giggling from everyone, except Malfoy Harry noticed. And as they went their separate ways at the Griffindor table, Seamus called, loudly,  
“See ya in a bit Hilly.” Harry wondered if it would be deemed inappropriate to strangle him with his own tie. Probably.  
He sat opposite Ron, who seemed to be keeping his hands to himself more than he normally did. Under-the-table hand holding was a common ritual for him and Hermione. They had their backs to the Slytherin table, which meant that Harry was looking right at it. His eyes moved of their own accord, searching for the white hair. He was surprised to see the grey silver eyes already fixed on him. A few seconds felt like an eternity, before Malfoy was standing, eyes still locked firmly with his, and walking out of the hall. Harry knew exactly where he was going, and he wasn't going to follow.  
Nope.  
Not going to follow.  
…  
Well, if he wanted some fresh air, then it was hardly his fault. The great hall was rather stuffy, and the air would clear his head. It wasn't like he was going for Malfoy. No. Never.  
Ron looked a little confused as Harry stood and left the hall, without grabbing so much as a bread roll. He opened his mouth to call after his best friend, but Hermione patted his hand and said,  
“It's girl stuff Ron, don't think about it.”


End file.
